Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, ‘What are you up to there, Johnny?’ ‘Well, my goldfish died,’ replied Johnny tearfully, without looking up, ‘and I’ve just buried him.’ The neighbour was concerned, ‘that’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?’ Johnny patted down the last heap of earth then replied…’That’s because he’s inside your cat!’
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Two little boys, Sammy and Tim, were sharing a room in the hospital. As they were getting to know each other a little bit, Sammy eventually asked Tim, ‘Hey Tim, what’re you in for?’ ‘I’m getting my tonsils out – I’m a little worried,’ said Tim. ‘Oh don’t worry about it. I had my tonsils out and it was a blast! I got to eat all the ice cream and jello I wanted for two weeks!’ ‘Oh yeah?’ replied Tim. ‘That’s not half bad. Hey Sammy, how about you? What’re you here for?’ ‘I’m getting a circumcision, whatever that is!’ Sammy answered. ‘Oh my god, circumcision? I got one of those when I was a baby and I couldn’t walk for two years!’
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At his request, each morning three year old Ray’s mother pinned a bath towel to the back shoulders of his size two T-shirt. Immediately in his young imaginative mind the towel became a brilliant magic blue and red cape. And he became Superman. Outfitted each day in his ‘cape’, Ray’s days were packed with adventure and daring escapades. He was Superman. This fact was clearly pointed out last fall when his mother enrolled him in a kindergarten class. During the course of the interview, the teacher asked Ray his name. ‘Superman,’ he answered politely and without pause. The teacher smiled, cast an appreciative glance at his mother, and asked again. ‘Your real name, please.’ Again, Ray answered, ‘Superman.’ Realizing the situation demanded more authority, or maybe to hide amusement, the teacher closed her eyes for a moment, then in a voice quite stern, said ‘I will have to have your real name for the records.’ Sensing he’d have to play straight with the teacher, Ray slid his eyes around the room, hunched closer to her, and patting a corner of frayed towel at his shoulder, answered in a voice hushed with conspiracy, ‘Clark Kent.’
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A little boy returning home from his first day said to his mother, ‘Mom, what’s sex?’ His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject. When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrolment form which he had brought home from school and said, ‘Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?’

Little Johnny was playing in the farm yard one morning. The chickens were out running around, and getting in Little Johnny’s way. In a temper tantrum he started running after them and kicking them. His mother caught him kicking the chickens, and said, ‘That’s it! No eggs for you for one month!’ Later that afternoon, Johnny was playing in the pasture, and soon started chasing the cattle and kicking them with his feet. His mother again caught him, and after a brief moment of thought, said ‘No milk for you for one month!’ Early that evening, Johnny’s mother was cooking dinner in the kitchen when his father came in from the barn. As he closed the door the barnyard cat slipped into the kitchen. Johnny’s father gave the cat a kick back outside. Little Johnny looked at his mother and said, ‘Are you going to tell him, Mommy, or do you want me to?’
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One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. The little girl looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, ‘Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?’ Her mother replied, ‘Well, every time you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.’ The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then asked, ‘Momma, how come all of grandmas hairs are white?’
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