One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself. Tom wasn’t happy about that: ‘When are you going to learn to be polite?’ ‘If you had the chance to pick first, which would you pick?’ Bill asked. Tom replied, ‘The smaller piece, of course.’ What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?’
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Top ten ways to annoy your Waiter

1. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip.
2. Ask, ‘Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?’
3. After he describes each special, you shout, ‘Garbage!’
4. Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, ‘Minimum wage.’
5. Every few seconds, yell, ‘More waffles, Cuomo!’
6. Insist that before ordering, you be allowed to touch the London broil.
7. Tie tablecloth around neck and say, ‘You wouldn’t charge Superman for dinner, would you?’
8. Every time you eat or drink, cough really hard.
9. As he walks by to the kitchen, scream, ‘He’s gonna spit in the chowder!’
10. Three words: eat the check.
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