Dear God, I’m writing to say I’m sorry.
For being so angry yesterday, when you seemed to ignore my prayer.
And things didn’t go my way. First my car broke down.
I was late for work, but I missed that awful accident
Was that your handiwork?
I found a house I loved, but others got there first,
I was angry, then relieved, when I heard that the pipes had burst
Yesterday, I found the perfect dress but the colour was too pale,
Today, I found the dress in red would you believe, it was on sale!
I know you’re watching over me and I’m feeling truly blest
For no matter what I pray for, you always know what’s best
I have this circle of E-mail friends, who mean the world to me
Some days I ‘send’ and ‘send’, at other times, I let them be
When I see each name download, and view the message they’ve sent;
I know they’ve thought of me that day, and ‘well wishes’ were their intent
I am so blessed to have these friends, with whom I’ve grown so close;
So this little poem I dedicate to them, because to me they are the ‘most’!
So to you my friends, I would like to say, thank you for being a part;
Of all my daily contacts, this comes right from my heart
God bless you all is my prayer today, I’m honoured to call you ‘friend’
I pray the lord will keep you safe, until we write again. GOD BLESS YOU.
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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because, even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human: it was physically impossible. The little girl said, ‘When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.’ The teacher asked, ‘What if Jonah went to hell?’ The little girl replied, ‘Then you ask him.’
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A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work, as she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, ‘I’m drawing God.’ The teacher paused and said, ‘but no one knows what God looks like.’ Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, ‘They will when I am finished.’
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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, ‘Now class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.’ Yes,’ the class said. ‘Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?’ A little fellow shouted, ‘Cause your feet aren’t hollow.’

THE FIVE SECRETS OF A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP
1. It is important to find a woman who helps at home, who is a good cook, cleans up and has a job.
2. It is important to find a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It is important to find a woman who you can trust and doesn’t lie to you.
4. It is important to find a woman who is good in bed and likes to be with you.
5. It is very important that these four women don’t know each other
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The children had been photographed; the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. ‘Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘there’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘that’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’ A small voice at the back of the classroom rang out, ‘and there’s the teacher she’s DEAD.’
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Laughter brightens the eye, increases the perspiration, expands the chest, forces the poisoned air form the least used cells, and tends to restore that exquisite pose or balance which we call health.

If God believed in permissiveness, he would have given us Ten Suggestions instead of Ten
Commandments.

In life, as on a crowded bus, you needn’t worry about finding your station: sooner or later, someone’s bound to tell you where to get off.

When God allows sickness or affliction in the life of a Christian, God can do one of two things…Either he can heal that person with or without means, or he can give them the grace to bear it---and the second is as much of a miracle as the first.
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Come, look with me inside this drawer, in this box I’ve often seen,
At the pictures, black and white, faces proud, still and serene.
I wish I knew the people, these strangers in the box,
Their names and all their memories, are lost among my socks.
I wonder what their lives were like, how did they spend their days?
What about their special times? I’ll never know their ways.
If someone had taken time, to tell, who, what, where and when,
These faces and the memories, someday to be passed away?
Take time to save your stories, seize the opportunity when it knocks,
Or someday you and yours could be strangers in the box.
_____________________

The following is a sign posted at a local golf club:
1. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.
2. Form a loose grip
3. Keep your head down.
4. Avoid a quick back swing
5. Stay out of the water
6. Try not to hit anyone
7. If you are taking too long, please let others go ahead of you.
8. Don’t stand directly in front of others.
9. Quiet please…while others are preparing to go.
10. Now flush the urinal, go outside ad tee off.